Holy Soap
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers.
He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.
Having no place to hide, Father John stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.
The nuns stop and comment on how life-like the statue looks.
The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on Father John's manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.
"Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser."
The second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.
Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs, then yells.
"Holy Mary mother of god, hand lotion too!"